The Mergenthaler Family

        When Gavin was born, we knew he would probably be our last baby. This isn’t because we didn't think we could handle more children or because we finally wanted our "freedom," but because my life and health would be in serious danger. My age and history of pregnancy complications including four miscarriages, placenta previa, pre-eclampsia, and emergency c-section have increased my risk. My body has been through a lot to get these children here--not to mention the spiritual and emotional distress accompanying each challenge along the way.       Raising our children has been a joy--not always blissful, but still worth every sacrifice. There have been multiple times during this pandemic that I have felt grateful for our full house---more noise, more interaction, more messes, and more work, but "more" is a blessing in a time when people feel particular stress about less--less interpersonal interaction, less sports, less toilet paper, less v...

Next week is our fifth week of school (distance learning) and I’m still struggling to find a rhythm. The first day of Kindergarten was rough. Gavin cried, "But I want to go to REAL kindergarten. With a classroom and kids and where I see my teacher!" Last week, Gavin had his 5-year old checkup. The doctor asked if he was going to school. Gavin said, "Yes. Well, not actual real school because of coronavirus, but maybe, one day, when it's safe, we can go." That kid! It's weird to hear 10-year-old words come from a 40-pound kindergartener.  I don't have first-day of school pics. I could blame the wretched virus because everything is the virsus's fault, right? But not this. I don't have first-day pictures because I always forget to take them and if I remember and pull out my phone to snap some pictures, it feels forced and unnatural and my kids don't want to pose and I don't want to fight. This is what I do have: I dared Ricky to go to school...

Sometimes our house feels chaotic. With nine people, it can get loud.  But even when it’s quiet, my brain feels loud and I know the kids probably feel the same way. We are balancing complicated schedules--five drivers with three cars, jobs, grocery shopping, medical and dental appointments. Add to that the uncertainty of what school will be like in the fall or if we can travel on Christmas break. We’re missing our usual stress relievers like team sports and hanging out with friends. The built up stress and energy gets funneled into futile bickering and ridiculous bids for attention that become hurt feelings. Fights and chaos happen even when everything is “normal” but when they’re not, little things become big annoyances. Last week, several items were missing around our house: Ricky’s retainers Brooklyn’s glasses Andrew’s basket for clothing storage Makayla’s air pods Emily’s Wendy’s t shirts Emily's earphones Rick's earphone -- only one of them, but the important...

Last week, I left this and these people  to be with these people  doing these things. I’m loving the history lessons, stories about my ancestors, and wilderness adventures.  Thank you, Rick, for taking care of five kids, a full-time job, out-of-town guests, a broken pool pump, and a broken well pump while I’ve been exploring the east coast with the big girls.

Our house is meant for entertaining. We knew that when we bought it. We do have a big family, and we easily could fill the space with kids, but we choose to have our kids share bedrooms so that the casita is open for guests. We have a game room with tons of toys, a big yard with grass (not so common in Arizona), and a pool. It’s pretty much like a resort. Add to that the fact that a lot of super fun people live at our house and every day is a potential party.  Our kids forget how blessed we are to have this space until somebody else points it out to them. Through March and April, I can’t tell you how many times I heard, “I’m bored. I don’t know what to do.” I almost always answered, “What’s not to do?” And then we learned that we would have guests. Our kids counted down the days. Our guests were super excited to play with our toys, run in our yard, swim in our pool, and hang out with super fun people. Our house became fun again. Here’s some of what we did: Learned new tricks: Rock ...