Seventh Heaven

What follows is a post written by Rick--the first time he was written on our family blog!  I love what he wrote and share his feelings about our family.  I'm a lucky girl!! . . . .

Seventh Heaven.  That phrase accurately describes the emotions I experienced when I learned that we are having our seventh child in September.  But others don’t quite understand why we have a large family.  In fact, some of my close friends have said things like “you do know how this works don’t you” or “don’t you have six kids already.” I try to respond with a smile and politely point out that Bonni and I are well aware of how this process works and that this decision is not in any way ad hoc or unplanned.  In fact, I’m just as scared as anyone else about this news.  You may think this is counterintuitive given the joy and happiness I mentioned earlier, but I worry about each one of my children.  I pray for them.  I want them to know how much I love them.  I want them to feel the same love I continue to feel from my family.  In short, I worry that I don’t measure up to the task ahead of me.  Given these mixed emotions, I thought I would share with all of my friends and family why Bonni and I have planned to have each one of our seven kids, in spite of the fear both she and I have.  

First and foremost, my family brings me joy.  Today, in particular, I felt this joy as I helped my kids get ready for school.  I prayed with each one as they prepared for their day.  They leave at different times, so when I am home, I get to pray with our high schooler, junior high warrior, and our elementary and pre-elementary children.  This process brings me joy.  I’m happy when I hear my Sophomore personally and intimately plead with God to bless her mom, sisters, and brothers.  A second example illustrates the joy I feel, even when I’m half asleep and tired.  Sean, our youngest son, has frequent nightmares.  Recently, he woke up around 3 AM and came into our room looking for comfort from his fears.  He asked, “Mom, can you give me a high five, I had a scary dream and that will make me feel better.”  I asked him if I could give him a high five and also a hug to convey my love and confidence in him.  Experiences like these bring me joy.  I love that joy. 

Second, I know so many desperately want to have children and can’t.  Some people never marry, some struggle with emotional health concerns or physical health problems that prevent them from having children.  My heart goes out to these individuals.  As a Bishop for our local LDS congregation, I pray for them and weep with them.  I don’t feel what they feel, but I do know the pain is deep and many desperately want these blessings in their life.  Given this, I believe I would be an ungrateful to ignore the opportunity I have to have children. 

Third, I’ve been blessed to marry an amazing woman.  Yes, she is amazing.  She is kind, smart, funny, and patient.  She is loving and caring.  She is a daughter of God that pleads with the Lord about each one of our children and our family.  She pleads with the Lord about the children He would have us bring into our home.  Further, my job affords her the ability to choose to stay at home.  Given these blessings, I believe I’d be ungrateful to tell the Lord and my wife that I can’t do what they know I can. 

Fourth, I try really, really hard.  I’m not perfect.  Sometimes I am too hard on our kids.  I don’t always make the right choices.  But, I battle every day.  I look for ways I can improve my life.  I look for ways I can be a better husband, father, and colleague.  I desperately try to convey the love God has for each member of my family—especially my beloved Bonni.  I pray with my family each day.  I plead with the Lord for them in my personal prayers.  I worry and fret about them.  Each of our children have blessed our family with joy and trials in different ways.  Due to this, I believe I am becoming the father, husband, and man the Lord would have me be.  No, I am not there yet, but I try. 

Finally, I believe God is our Father, literally.  The Bible and other scriptures teach that God is the Father of our spirits (see, e.g., Heberews 12:9).  Further, I believe God has a plan for me and all of His children and that plan requires us to come to this earth to learn, grow, and become more like him.  For this reason, he has commanded us to “Multiply and Replenish the Earth” (Genisis 1:28).  I believe I play an important role in His plan as a partner with Him in bringing His Children to this earth and helping them to achieve their divine potential.  I know when I serve God in bringing His children into the world, teaching them, and loving them; I am blessed.

It is for these reasons that I’ve chosen to be in seventh heaven.  In short, my family brings me joy.  I know being a parent is a gift that I cannot squander.  I am blessed with the girl of my dreams and I try.  In no way do I expect others to agree that I should have these seven wonderful children.  However, I hope this helps them understand that I love my family and why both Bonni and I go to our knees to seek out God’s plan for our family.  I also I hope with all the fervor of my being that I’m enough.  That I can be the Father I know my children deserve.  Because they are children of God.  I know that to be true.