When toilet paper and water bottles began disappearing from store shelves a month ago, I thought it was funny. I laughed at some of the jokes. I even bought a little extra for my own family because, you know, what if? But then school closures, event cancellations, and pleas for people to "just stay home" reached my social media feeds and I got nervous. I did some research. I prayed and pondered and thought hard about how I should react to the current situation as a mother, wife, daughter, neighbor, and disciple of Jesus Christ. The jokes weren't funny anymore because I recognized the fear and anxiety behind the behaviors. People were scared. And seeing empty store shelves made me a little scared too.
So, we told our children we would be staying home--no friends, no play dates, no social interactions of any kind. And a couple of our children were not happy. When we told them we would not be going out they HAD to get out. Suddenly, they wanted to be out of the house more than ever. So we talked about an idea that I have been thinking about for the entire month--scarcity mindset.
Scarcity mindset is the belief that there isn't enough--whether it's toilet paper, water, food, interaction with friends, or things to do. A scarcity mindset is both driven by fear and anxiety and feeds fear and anxiety. Its a nagging feeling of lack, and the pining for more. Even as I'm trying to describe it in writing, I feel a churning in my stomach. My palms are sweaty, my heart is beating fast, and I'm wondering if there's anything I might have forgotten to stock up on for our family that we may need that I won't be able to get in the next two weeks.
The opposite of the scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset. An abundance mindset is a general feeling of peace and gratitude. There is enough. Everything will be okay. A feeling of abundance causes a person to be more willing to look to help others, to share, to love. When a person has an abundance mindset, they focus not on what they don't have, but what they do have.
Neither of these mindsets has anything to do with what we actually have. A very poor person can feel great abundance and a rich person may feel scarcity. It's an attitude thing--which can make some people grumble because they hate to hear you say, "choose to be happy," but, well, sometimes you can.
I'm not the first person to ponder or even write about this topic. Check out this handy chart:
The world is experiencing a time of great stress and anxiety and it sneaks into our home in many forms. Of course, we worry for people who are sick.We worry for health care professionals and the healthcare system in general having the resources to handle a pandemic. I worry for my sister who manages a grocery store and is among all kinds of people every day and my brother who works for The Red Cross. I worry about the economic effects for people who can’t go to work and need the income, or those who own small businesses. I worry that our family will run out of milk (trust me, it won't take long). And I worry that something as simple as running out of milk will generate a feeling of stress and anxiety in my children.There's a lot to worry about. And focusing on these worries generates the behaviors in the column on the right.
But this month, I have been trying to shift my own focus and my family's focus on the blessings, so that we can behave more often from the column on the left.
For me, this also means recognizing that when people are hoarding or being judgmental, or posting angry blurbs on social media, they are truly afraid.The best way to combat their fear is to look for ways to love them and help them feel safe. It's about giving people the benefit of the doubt. It's about kindness. And it’s about sharing our abundance. In our own family, it means giving my children space to adjust to our new normal while helping them to find their own creativity and gratitude for their circumstances.
Whenever I feel that prod to go out and buy something I don't need because "what if I can't get it tomorrow," or judge somebody for being critical, I need to remind myself that an abundance mindset is the answer to the scarcity I'm feeling, and if I look for ways to be grateful and serve, the fear and anxiety will ebb.
In fostering this feeling of abundance for myself, I have found that I'm snapping more pictures lately. Whenever I see something I'm grateful for, I take a picture. Here are some:
Home study is not terrible.
After two weeks, we still haven’t played even a tenth of our games.
And last, but not least, our missionary is home safe and sound! I love the feeling she has brought into our house.
We all want to be right next to her.
So, we told our children we would be staying home--no friends, no play dates, no social interactions of any kind. And a couple of our children were not happy. When we told them we would not be going out they HAD to get out. Suddenly, they wanted to be out of the house more than ever. So we talked about an idea that I have been thinking about for the entire month--scarcity mindset.
Scarcity mindset is the belief that there isn't enough--whether it's toilet paper, water, food, interaction with friends, or things to do. A scarcity mindset is both driven by fear and anxiety and feeds fear and anxiety. Its a nagging feeling of lack, and the pining for more. Even as I'm trying to describe it in writing, I feel a churning in my stomach. My palms are sweaty, my heart is beating fast, and I'm wondering if there's anything I might have forgotten to stock up on for our family that we may need that I won't be able to get in the next two weeks.
The opposite of the scarcity mindset is the abundance mindset. An abundance mindset is a general feeling of peace and gratitude. There is enough. Everything will be okay. A feeling of abundance causes a person to be more willing to look to help others, to share, to love. When a person has an abundance mindset, they focus not on what they don't have, but what they do have.
Neither of these mindsets has anything to do with what we actually have. A very poor person can feel great abundance and a rich person may feel scarcity. It's an attitude thing--which can make some people grumble because they hate to hear you say, "choose to be happy," but, well, sometimes you can.
I'm not the first person to ponder or even write about this topic. Check out this handy chart:
The world is experiencing a time of great stress and anxiety and it sneaks into our home in many forms. Of course, we worry for people who are sick.We worry for health care professionals and the healthcare system in general having the resources to handle a pandemic. I worry for my sister who manages a grocery store and is among all kinds of people every day and my brother who works for The Red Cross. I worry about the economic effects for people who can’t go to work and need the income, or those who own small businesses. I worry that our family will run out of milk (trust me, it won't take long). And I worry that something as simple as running out of milk will generate a feeling of stress and anxiety in my children.There's a lot to worry about. And focusing on these worries generates the behaviors in the column on the right.
But this month, I have been trying to shift my own focus and my family's focus on the blessings, so that we can behave more often from the column on the left.
For me, this also means recognizing that when people are hoarding or being judgmental, or posting angry blurbs on social media, they are truly afraid.The best way to combat their fear is to look for ways to love them and help them feel safe. It's about giving people the benefit of the doubt. It's about kindness. And it’s about sharing our abundance. In our own family, it means giving my children space to adjust to our new normal while helping them to find their own creativity and gratitude for their circumstances.
Whenever I feel that prod to go out and buy something I don't need because "what if I can't get it tomorrow," or judge somebody for being critical, I need to remind myself that an abundance mindset is the answer to the scarcity I'm feeling, and if I look for ways to be grateful and serve, the fear and anxiety will ebb.
In fostering this feeling of abundance for myself, I have found that I'm snapping more pictures lately. Whenever I see something I'm grateful for, I take a picture. Here are some:
We stocked up on library books days before the library closed
Home study is not terrible.
We live in a place that’s fun to explore and it’s spring time, which means we’re seeing more critters Do you see the bobcat? I think she’s pregnant, and I think she’s the same one who has been in our yard with her cubs in past years.
I like our yard. And even though I sometimes say I don’t, I like our dog because she provides me an excuse to get out and she’s another friend for the kids.
I like our yard. And even though I sometimes say I don’t, I like our dog because she provides me an excuse to get out and she’s another friend for the kids.
We have food.
We have lots of people to play/fight with.
We have lots of people to play/fight with.
After two weeks, we still haven’t played even a tenth of our games.
And last, but not least, our missionary is home safe and sound! I love the feeling she has brought into our house.
We all want to be right next to her.
Since she is on quarantine for 14 days and we can’t not hug and snuggle her, our entire family is staying home for 14 days. And that’s ok because we’ve already had two weeks of practice and it’s not the worst thing to happen to us.
These words from Elder Holland way back in 2002 are what I’m striving for as I seek to live abundantly and encourage an abundance mindset in my children:
“Walk confidently. Walk without fear and without envy. Be reassured of Heavenly Father’s abundance to you always.
As we do this, we can help others, calling down blessings on them even as they make supplication for us. We can cheer every talent and ability, wherever it is bestowed, thus making life here more nearly what it will be like in heaven.
It will help us always to remember Paul’s succinct prioritizing of virtues—“Now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.” He reminds us we are all of the body of Christ, and that all members, whether comely or feeble, are adored, essential, and important. We feel the depth of his plea that there be “no schism in the body, but that the members … have the same care one for another. And [when] one member suffer[s], all the members suffer with it; or [when] one member [is] honoured, all the members rejoice.” That incomparable counsel helps us remember that the word generosity has the same derivation as the word genealogy, both coming from the Latin genus, meaning of the same birth or kind, the same family or gender. We will always find it easier to be generous when we remember that this person being favored is truly one of our own.
Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, “robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.” May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.”
Comments