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Settling

We left Tucson over three months ago, and when people ask "Are you getting settled?" I don't know how to answer. Yes and no. Because what does settled mean? If it weren't the upheaval of a big move across the country, there would be a different challenge. And moving isn't our only challenge. In fact, most of what keeps me up at night has very little to do with the work of remodeling and moving and more to do with the work of nurturing, loving, and teaching our children. It's less about where our stuff is and more about where our hearts are. And no matter what, it's hard.

Physically, things are still very much in disarray. We are still living in a rental and will be until the third week of July. The work on our new house is going well. But it's work. We have completely gutted the place, the yard is overgrown, and even if it were beautifully manicured, the upkeep on five acres takes a lot of time. When we move into our house, we won't have countertops (and therefore working sinks and faucets) until the first week in August. We have been focusing on getting the main living areas--bedrooms, bathrooms, and kitchen done, but the basement probably won't be done until late fall. The exterior of the house needs pressure washing and painting. We haven't seen our KitchenAid or any usable mixer in months. Our kids are growing out of the clothes they packed in their suitcases when we left Tucson. We signed a couple of kids up for swimming and soccer only to realize we have to buy new swimsuits, goggles, cleats, and other supplies because what we already have is buried in the garage. But we chose this and we're working to make it our home. 

Our physical disarray reflects how many in our family feel spiritually and emotionally. We miss our friends and the steadiness of knowing most of the people at church and school. Our neighbors have been very welcoming, but we spend most of our time at the rental house. Our church family has also been welcoming, but the unsteadiness of our physical lives takes a lot of time and effort away from being socially engaged. Mental health challenges permeate everything else. A few of our family members are fighting hard battles and the rest of us are doing everything we can to help them feel loved and steadied through the extra chaos mental illness brings.

So, it's hard. But good.

State College is beautiful. We have lived in the northwest, southwest, west, and midwest and all of these places have elements of what we see here. I don't know how to describe the tree covered hills, blooming flowers, colonial architecture, and wildlife without making it sound like I don't appreciate the other places we have lived. I often find myself thinking, "Wow, God really loves us to give us such a variety of beauty." I love the flowers, landscape,and architecture. I love the old churches and graveyards because I love history. I love the humidity. I don't love the rain, but I love that the rain makes for green, green, green everywhere. I'm learning to love the people. Making friends takes time and I'm not a social butterfly. I have a desire to serve others and to help them feel valued and seen and I'm looking for ways to do that while making sure my husband and children feel like they're the top of my list.

We're settling. Because we have moved a few times now, I know that being settled isn't the end goal. It takes years to get settled. And things always happen to upset the balance. But we're working together to find joy in the every day chaos and upheaval, to find peace amidst disorder, and to love each other and love others as we know we can in this new place.

Here are a few snapshots from the past few months:











Those chickens just showed up in our yard. Brooklyn held one for a little while. We haven’t seen them since that day. 



Mama and baby deer in our driveway. 





That’s the cat that came with our house. We hardly ever see him, but we feed him every day.
Lightning bug on my bed at the rental. 

Still settling. :)


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