Thoughts on Bonhoeffer and Cabrini
Letters from the Nest January 17, 2025
https://lettersfromthenest.substack.com/p/hiding-in-my-hoodie
I’m your mom. I do what moms do--find the missing items, clean the dirty clothes, organize household tasks, make assignments, give medicine, and provide comfort and guidance. I make jokes. I forget things. I say the same things repeatedly: “Go to bed.” “Brush your teeth.” “Don’t forget . . . . “ “Did you already . . . .”
In our everyday lives together, you might not think much about what goes on inside my head. What are my wonders and worries? They mean little to you because, as children, teens, and developing adults, you have your own wonders and worries that you are so busy expressing and working through. How could you possibly have the capacity to see or even comprehend that I might have a lot more going on inside my head than, “Did I switch the laundry?” Sometimes, though, my wonders and worries leak out, like when I tried to explain my feelings about a movie we watched and hid in my hoodie because I got all choked up and teary. One day, you might wonder what made me cry, so I’ll write it here in this little “letter from the nest.”
First, let’s address my hoodie hiding. We watched the movie called, “Bonhoeffer: Pastor. Spy. Assassin.” When I say “watched,” I use the term loosely. Dad and I had already seen the movie, and we thought you’d be interested, so we turned it on one Sunday afternoon while also making food in the kitchen and playing a board game at the table. Some of you were interested in the true story of this German theologian who opposed the Nazi Party’s influence in German churches. Some of you thought Dad and I were trying to teach you a valuable religious lesson, so you had to distract your attention and be uninterested in order to maintain independence. At the end of the movie, I tried to put into words how much courage it took for this young man to endure the persecution he did while standing for something he knew to be noble and true, and that’s when my throat squeezed tight, and tears pricked my eyes, and I couldn’t say anything else. I wondered at Bonhoeffer’s courage and, on the other hand, how people who professed to believe in God could actually be so blind and cruel. I worried about the power we allow over ourselves when the opinion of others of us matters more to us than anything else. I wondered how I would have conducted myself if I had lived in that time and place. Would I have been courageous or cruel, indifferent or involved? Based on how I conduct myself now, I guess it would probably be a mix, and I’d face some powerful consequences. I didn’t like the truth I saw in myself and wanted to improve. When we study scriptures as a family, we talk about the fact that acting with integrity is often uncomfortable and difficult, and this biographical movie was more evidence of that truth. This man discovered that, for him, living without integrity wasn’t living at all. He gave his life to stand for what he knew was right. I want to be like that. (Of course, I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live without integrity.) I think I cried because I wondered what life would require of me and was afraid I might not be up to the challenge.
Cabrini is another movie I have been telling you about, but we haven’t watched it as a family. Francesca Cabrini was an Italian nun who sought to improve the lives of orphaned children, first in Italy and then in New York. Due to poor health, she was turned down several times when she wished to join already organized religious orders, so she and seven other nuns founded their own. I am inspired by Mother Cabrini’s sense of love and purpose, which caused her to set aside her health concerns and work with vigor and faith. City officials, doctors, and church leaders resisted her efforts--often because they didn’t believe she could accomplish what she set out to do. She worked anyway. She pushed past their fear and reservations (and probably her own) to save lives. How do I respond when people tell me I shouldn’t try to do something I feel driven to do? How do I handle my limitations? Limitations are indeed part of life, but are they as limiting as we think? This little nun was told she would probably die within two years, so why try? It would have been entirely reasonable for her to spend a couple of years lying in bed, struggling to breathe. Maybe she could have written some inspiring words from her sick bed or had precious interactions and deep relationships with a few close people. But she didn’t go to her sick bed and live a limited life. And she didn’t die. Like Bonhoeffer, despite barriers and resistance, she lived with integrity, choosing to serve, love, and push others to be likewise engaged in essential work. She didn’t allow her poor health to be the only guiding force in her life. It was part of her life, but so was love, service, and advocacy. I want to be like that. I have had some health concerns lately. Being tired and unable to do all you want is annoying, but not any more annoying than having limited time or resources. Mother Cabrini’s health did eventually take her life, but not until she was 67 years old and had opened 67 orphanages, hospitals, and schools around the world--one for each year of her life. As I thought about her fortitude, I also considered how much of her essential work over those years was mundane, repetitive, and without obvious results. Letters written and unanswered, clothes mended and torn, pleas to officials and community members for funds and support, meals made. Two Cabrini quotes impress me. First, “We are bold or we die. That is how I learned to live in America.” Second, “A single act of humility is worth more than the proud exhibition of any virtue.” Those two quotes seem at odds, but the more I think about them, the more I see that humility is bold. Integrity is courageous. Working with a purpose is noble. Circumventing all those ideas is the thought that we may choose how limitations and barriers affect us. Maybe what we see as impossible only seems impossible.
Well, are you bored yet with my wonders and worries? I, for one, have had enough writing about them. If you ever want another peek into my head, bring up some of your heroes and what you admire about them. Better yet, let’s also talk about villains. I love to think about how people show up in this world--what we do, why we do it, how we’re influenced, and especially our potential for goodness. There is so much to talk about, right? But let’s do it another time. For now, I have a kitchen to clean.
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