Skip to main content

Who am I? What is my purpose?

Letters from the Nest:

https://lettersfromthenest.substack.com/publish/post/159570004

Who am I? What is my purpose?

My seminary teaching partner wrote those questions on the board today.

You would expect to see these thought questions posed to teens in a religion class, but you might be surprised at how often these questions come up for people worldwide at all ages. I came home from the lesson with a lot on my mind, so I will pour some of it out for you to read someday when you miss having me around.

I hope you’re not disappointed to find out that even as a 46-year-old almost grandmother, I sometimes get stuck on the idea of my own identity and purpose. I know the generalized answer, and with your religious background, you can probably guess what I mean. The young women in our church recite this definition of identity and purpose on Sundays: “I am a beloved daughter of heavenly parents, with a divine nature and eternal destiny.” I believe that. In fact, it’s more than belief. It’s a truth planted deep in my soul that guides how I respond to life's joys and challenges. Even though that truth has significant power, it’s not very specific, is it? If I believe in my divine nature and purpose, it follows that I believe that every person who has ever lived or will live on this earth is also divine. This is a useful truth for many life situations and governs how I see and treat others, but how do I address my individual worth and purpose?

Let’s pause and play “Guess The Song That’s in My Head.” Here are some clues:

  • It’s a country song.

  • It’s about couple dynamics--specifically communication, more specifically, talking.

  • The lyrics contain two opposing phrases, “you, you, you,” and “me, me, me.”

Any guesses? It’s by Toby Keith.

Here’s a portion of the chorus:

“I wanna talk about me,

Wanna talk about I

Wanna talk about number one,

Oh my, me my

What I think, what I like,

What I know, what I want, what I see.

I like talking about you, you, you, you usually.

But occasionally, I wanna talk about ME!!

Is the song stuck in your brain now?

That’s how I see identity and purpose. It’s universal and individual at the same time. Everybody is divine. Everybody has a purpose. But what about me?

What are the things only I can do? What do I need to experience, suffer, learn, try, share, accomplish? How can I use my unique combination of talents, gifts, experiences, and knowledge to do the work God knows I can do to become the person God knows I can be?

I am both overwhelmed by the infinite possibilities and disappointed by the limitations of life circumstances.

I can do ANYTHING, but I can’t do EVERYTHING.

This principle leads to a question tsunami.

How will I spend my time? What and who will I prioritize and why? Prioritizing means I have to give up some things. How will I choose what to give up? How long do I give those things up? Forever? For a season? If I choose one path, will I miss out on important learning and growth on another path? Who will suffer as a result of my choices? Who will be blessed? How will I know? Do I have to know? Do I have the courage to step toward some things and away from others? How will I handle challenges as they arise? Will everything work out? Are my dreams inspired-possibilities or delusions of grandeur? How can I align my will with God’s if I’m unsure what that might be?

These questions are like household tasks. Never completely answered. As eternal beings, we are in a state of constant decision-making.

Agency might not seem like much of a gift when you’re overwhelmed, lost, or confused, but paired with appropriate guidance from trusting and loving sources, it’s a huge blessing meant for our growth. (And it’s another one of those eternal, applicable-to-all principles).

So, how do I answer some of these tsunami questions? How do I choose??

I have sat here for quite some time staring at the screen. Some of the questions have easy, concrete answers. Most of them don’t. Some answers to the questions are less about actions and more about feelings or attributes like patience or trust. Indeed, feelings and attributes usually lead to actions, but they aren’t in and of themselves active. Most questions lead to answers that lead to more questions.

There are some perspectives I might use to find some concrete answers. I could consider short- and long-term goals, recognize strengths and limitations, use guidance from already determined roles and callings (mother, wife, teacher, community member, disciple), and appreciate different times and seasons of life.

In the end, though, I’m at an impasse and have to believe if I keep stirring, wondering, watching, and waiting, the truth will float to the surface. I hope I will have the insight and courage to act when I know what to do. I hope I don’t wait too long because indecision is a decision.

Courage is needed here because fear is a big problem. What if I miss something important? What if I make a bad decision? What if I waste precious time and resources? What if I fail?

I will miss important things, make bad decisions, waste resources, and fail. But, as I have said before. Failure is only failure if you don’t learn.

I guess that’s where the eternal perspective and universality of identity and purpose come back into the conversation. Why are we here anyway? Not to sit around, that’s for sure. We’re meant to DO stuff. See, experience, learn, grow, hurt, love, help, hope, cry, and, eventually, change.

So, enough about me. What about you? How do you decide what to do with your life? What’s your identity and purpose? It’s the same as mine and different too. Isn’t that mind-boggling?

Enjoy this lovely picture I took on our spring break trip to Hilton Head Island. It’s a caricature of me pondering the possibilities of life.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back To School Meanies

 Letter From the Nest August 15, 2025 https://open.substack.com/pub/lettersfromthenest/p/back-to-school?r=48qui&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web One August, more than twenty years ago, at an evening book club discussion, my “older” friends (now I look back and know those women were the age I am now), were discussing the woes and triumphs of back-to-school season. One woman was anticipating her youngest child’s senior year of high school. She said, “For more than two decades, our lives have revolved around the school district’s academic calendar. I don’t know how I will plan my life without knowing about school breaks or holidays.” I remember her bittersweet tone as she anticipated freedom from school schedule constraints but also mourned how those constraints guided her choices. What would she do? Other women joined the discussion, wondering if their kids would have good teachers, if they’d be able to balance volunteering in the classroom, how to streamline school supply pu...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Legacy Stinks

 Letters from the Nest https://lettersfromthenest.substack.com/p/my-legacy-stinks Lately, I have been asking you, “What will you do to make Sunday special?” This is me encouraging you in your worship without giving you a prescribed list of things to do. One thing I do differently on Sundays is that I read a Sunday book that’s “different” than the fiction I read during the week. Usually, it’s a religious book, but sometimes it’s an inspiring biography or narrative nonfiction with an uplifting theme. My Sunday book for the past few months has been “Both Things Are True,” by Kate Holbrook. This collection of essays explores a range of topics, including faith, forgiveness, women’s roles, trials, history, and more. Each chapter contains a dichotomy that fuels the discussion. For example, the chapter on forgiveness explores both the concepts of forgetting and remembering. Last Sunday, I began reading the chapter entitled "The Weight of Legacy," in which she discusses the dichotomy ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lyme Disease??

Let me just preface this by saying that I am soooo grateful for good health insurance. I have been to the Dr. for the kids lately so often, that I am embarrassed that they recognize our family when we walk in the door. So, here's Ricky's story. A couple of weeks ago he was extremely sick. He had a fever for over a week, complained that he couldn't move his legs, and ended up with an awful looking rash all over his body. We went to the Dr. 2 times for this. The first time, she said, it was a virus and it should run its course. When Ricky was getting worse, instead of better, we took him back in to a quick clinic where the nurse diagnosed him with strep (even though the short test was negative). Well, after a priesthood blessing and antibiotics (which we discovered later that he didn't even need to take--and in fact they may have made him feel worse), he got better. Then, last week, I discovered a new, crazy rash on his legs which continued to grow, turn purple on the in...
5 comments
Read more