Skip to main content

Potholes

 Letters From the Nest, April 18, 2025

https://lettersfromthenest.substack.com/p/potholes

It’s pothole season. Did you know that? In early spring, potholes are at their worst because, throughout the winter, roadways have been exposed to water seeping into cracks in the pavement, expanding and melting, causing widespread destruction. Some websites name Michigan the state with the worst reputation for potholes, but we have our fair share of potholes here in Pennsylvania, too.

Have you ever been on a back road littered with potholes? I remember girls' camp whenever I’m on a poorly maintained road. I have attended many girls’ camps over the years, both as a participant and as a leader, and it seems like a rule of life that the last half-mile or more of the drive to camp is pitted with potholes.

Imagine this: you’re nearing the end of a couple of hours in a cramped car. You have drunk too much soda, and each bump reminds you that you really should have used the facilities when the chance was offered. Your legs are sticky on the seat. Somebody smells like they figured, “If I’m not going to shower all week, why worry about it today?” Or maybe the odor is wafting from the sleeping bags and tents, which are still musty from last year’s rainstorm and a whole storage season. You thought you’d be at camp, by now, but the minutes are dragging, especially since the driver has slowed to a turtle pace to avoid the potholes. How can they be driving so slow, swerving so much, and still hitting every pothole??

You look ahead of you on the road. Maybe you can help the driver (and yourself) by pointing out the hazards. “There’s one.” Oh, and “There’s another right there.” Oof! “Didn’t see that one, did you?” Will it ever end? Who is in charge of road maintenance here? Are they on permanent vacation? You imagine yourself out there on the road, filling each hole, making a smooth ride for vans full of girls, invisible in the cloud of dust behind you.

I sometimes feel this way about life. The journey, at first, is fun and hopeful. The road is smooth, you’re listening to good music and eating fun snacks. After while, maybe you take a little nap. But when you think you’re about to reach your destination, road conditions deteriorate. Your pace is slowed. You seem to hit and feel every bump. It’s miserable, and you think, “Who will fix these holes?”

I see holes everywhere. Some of them are observed in interpersonal interactions. I see people in need of love, acceptance, guidance, discipline, tutoring, teaching, lifting, feeding, and healing. Some of the holes in the community include classes without teachers, buses needing drivers, and sick people needing specialists. Other holes are more conceptual: unanswered questions, unextended invitations, unmet expectations, and untold stories.

I have the resources and qualifications to fill some of these holes, but other repairs require specialized skills that I don’t have.

Most of the time, I’m not qualified. I don’t know enough, haven’t experienced enough, or don’t have those official lettered credentials. It’s frustrating to see so much pain and suffering around me and know that sometimes, people are going to run into potholes and there is little I can do.

Some holes can only be filled by the One. Why isn’t one of His nicknames Filler? Well, because it sounds weird, that’s why. But He does help us fill the holes in our lives. He heals interpersonal relationships. He provides learning opportunities for His children so that they can assist in His work. The repair work isn’t instant, though, and sometimes, people have to experience the pits of life to appreciate the smooth parts.

A couple of weeks ago in General Conference, Elder Uchtdorf talked about how everybody would like things to go smoother sometimes, especially at church. We want our roads to be easy and clear of obstructions, but that’s not life. He said, “Now, I realize that I’m describing the ideal. And in this mortal life, we rarely get to experience the ideal. And ‘until the perfect day,’ there will always be a gap between the ideal and the real. So, what should we do . . .? One thing we should not do is give up on the ideal!”

This is tricky--recognizing that because life is life, it will be uncomfortable at the best and hazardous at the worst, but there are ways to “make straight paths” (Hebrews 12:13-14).

What is my part in the work of clearing obstructions for ourselves and others? It’s something to think about. And what about the holes in my own life? For starters, I can be open to learning opportunities, even when I’m afraid the experience will be uncomfortable. I can be ready to answer calls meant for me. Mostly, I can practice trust in the great Pothole Filler. When I don’t know what to do with some of the gaps I see in my life and others, He can help me know how to fill them in His way, which I want to be my way too.



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back To School Meanies

 Letter From the Nest August 15, 2025 https://open.substack.com/pub/lettersfromthenest/p/back-to-school?r=48qui&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web One August, more than twenty years ago, at an evening book club discussion, my “older” friends (now I look back and know those women were the age I am now), were discussing the woes and triumphs of back-to-school season. One woman was anticipating her youngest child’s senior year of high school. She said, “For more than two decades, our lives have revolved around the school district’s academic calendar. I don’t know how I will plan my life without knowing about school breaks or holidays.” I remember her bittersweet tone as she anticipated freedom from school schedule constraints but also mourned how those constraints guided her choices. What would she do? Other women joined the discussion, wondering if their kids would have good teachers, if they’d be able to balance volunteering in the classroom, how to streamline school supply pu...
Post a Comment
Read more

My Legacy Stinks

 Letters from the Nest https://lettersfromthenest.substack.com/p/my-legacy-stinks Lately, I have been asking you, “What will you do to make Sunday special?” This is me encouraging you in your worship without giving you a prescribed list of things to do. One thing I do differently on Sundays is that I read a Sunday book that’s “different” than the fiction I read during the week. Usually, it’s a religious book, but sometimes it’s an inspiring biography or narrative nonfiction with an uplifting theme. My Sunday book for the past few months has been “Both Things Are True,” by Kate Holbrook. This collection of essays explores a range of topics, including faith, forgiveness, women’s roles, trials, history, and more. Each chapter contains a dichotomy that fuels the discussion. For example, the chapter on forgiveness explores both the concepts of forgetting and remembering. Last Sunday, I began reading the chapter entitled "The Weight of Legacy," in which she discusses the dichotomy ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Lyme Disease??

Let me just preface this by saying that I am soooo grateful for good health insurance. I have been to the Dr. for the kids lately so often, that I am embarrassed that they recognize our family when we walk in the door. So, here's Ricky's story. A couple of weeks ago he was extremely sick. He had a fever for over a week, complained that he couldn't move his legs, and ended up with an awful looking rash all over his body. We went to the Dr. 2 times for this. The first time, she said, it was a virus and it should run its course. When Ricky was getting worse, instead of better, we took him back in to a quick clinic where the nurse diagnosed him with strep (even though the short test was negative). Well, after a priesthood blessing and antibiotics (which we discovered later that he didn't even need to take--and in fact they may have made him feel worse), he got better. Then, last week, I discovered a new, crazy rash on his legs which continued to grow, turn purple on the in...
5 comments
Read more