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Fear and Courage: Birds of a Feather

 Letters From the Nest

https://open.substack.com/pub/lettersfromthenest/p/fear-and-courage?r=48qui&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web

Within the last month, our family has had a new addition, and this sweet baby boy is the first in the next generation. Sometimes I feel too young to be a grandmother, especially since we still have young children at home. Other times, I feel very grandmotherly, like when I’m climbing the stairs and my joints pop and crackle more than a bowl of Rice Krispies.

I felt very grateful to be a part of helping our oldest daughter welcome her firstborn into the world, but it was also surprisingly traumatic. I say, surprisingly, because when people talk about becoming grandparents, they’re full of joy and wonder. Rightly so. The miracle of birth is both joyful and wonderful, but it’s also incredibly difficult and scary. Why did I forget that?

Bringing children into the world is not for the faint of heart. It’s demanding in every way you can think of--physically, emotionally, spiritually, and more. Whatever you think you’re good at, whatever your talents, whatever your capacities, parenting will challenge you in every one of those areas. Of course, it’s meant to be that way--it’s all for our learning and growth, remember?

In the aftermath of this scary and marvelous experience, I have been thinking about fear and its role in life.

We’re told to “fear not,” but is that possible?

What is the opposite of fear? Courage?

Like light and dark, you can’t have one without the other, but I don’t think they’re true opposites because you can be both fearful and courageous simultaneously, whereas light and dark cannot coexist in the same space.

This is just me thinking things through in words, and I might come to different conclusions in other circumstances, but consider this: Could courage be a product of fear?

Of course, courage is not the only possible product of fear. Others could be anger, doubt, or weakness. But for now, let's consider courage.

If there’s nothing to fear, there’s no need for courage.

Life challenges us daily. When we’re presented with a challenge, fear is almost always nearby. This fear can cause us to shrink, doubt, or hide, or we can face the challenge feeling empowered and courageous. What makes the difference?

Maybe the difference is easier to see with a less life-altering example than giving birth.

What about church callings? Of course, I think church callings are also life-altering, but other than a calling to the Quorum of Twelve Apostles, they don’t carry the same eternal commitment as parenthood.

Have you ever been asked to serve in a capacity or calling at church that surprised you? Have you ever thought that the task was beyond your capabilities or resources?

I think this is a common occurrence for members of our church. Callings challenge us, and where there are challenges, like I said before, fear is nearby.

You know what often goes through my head when I’m asked to serve in a calling? I’ll tell you, my thoughts are often more cowering than courageous: I don’t have time, I wouldn’t be good at that, I don’t know how. Why me? How would I do that? I know others who would be way better at that than I.

I have also had powerful spiritual promptings that counter those cowering thoughts with courage. I feel empowered to push the doubts aside and trust everything will work out. I’m still afraid, but I also have access to power and courage beyond my natural capabilities. (the “empowering aspect of the Atonement of Jesus Christ,” right? It’s not just about repentance and forgiveness, but that’s a topic for another day.)

This God-granted courage isn’t just for church callings. Parenthood is the highest and holiest calling, and you can bet I have experienced both fear and courage as a parent. As my children, you were there too. Think of all our family has experienced together--accidents, uncertain medical diagnoses, misunderstandings, disappointments. The fear-producing uncertainty that riddles family life has often been both accompanied and overpowered by a sense of peace, empowerment, and courage.

Life isn’t always a playground. Well, maybe it is--have you been to a playground lately? How many people can trace their scars or broken bones to playgrounds?

I will rephrase. Life is hard. You’ve heard that from me before. It’s hard for a reason. You’ve heard that from me, too.

Have courage. I believe in you. I love you. I’m in awe of your goodness and strength. You’re going to be great at this.












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